Standing on My Own

Sooooo... I like this one guy. He probably doesn't like me back, but I can't be sure because of his somewhat flirtatious IM and text conversations with me. After a few months of this I decided to ask him out. I decided not to make it like it was a date. I thought why don't I just go ahead and say we'll hang out. My intent was to gauge the situation. If he seemed interested then I would go from there. If he wasn't then, oh wells, he's a cool guy and i could be friends with him. The plan was to meet up near his area, which for me is a good 45 minute drive.

Side note: earlier that day HE confirmed with me and asked if we were still going to hang out.

So before i leave my house, i text him and tell him i'm leaving and how long approximately it would take me. No Response. On my way there, I call him, because i wasn't sure if I were to just meet him there or if i'd go pick him up. No Response, so i leave a voice message. I text him when i arrive to let him know i'm at our meeting spot. No response. I wait for over 15 minutes before i give him another call. No Response, and i don't leave a message this time. I even tried using Twitter to contact him. After 30 minutes of nothing, i tried one more text message and that was that.

Anger doesn't even describe how i felt. I felt stupid for waiting 30 minutes. I felt embarrassed standing there by myself waiting and ending up not meeting anyone. I felt disrespected. I felt disappointed. I felt foolish. So when he texted me at 11PM, mind you, we were to meet at 8:30PM and he had work at 11PM, I was out of words. Never had I been stood up. This was all new to me. Let me also just say that if a friend of mine did this to me, I probably wouldn't forgive them. In fact, i'm very clear with my friends that if they can't meet up or something that they need to give me a good 2 hour notice. I don't feel like that is asking too much. Just be straight forward with me. Yes or No. That's it. I won't go into the details of what was said but lets just say i really held back.

Looking back now, I realized that I initiated almost all conversations we had. I invited him out to different places to come meet up. I tried to find ways to meet up when I knew we were in close proximity. Oddly enough, we'd never meet up. Either we'd miss each other or he'd not return my text message until its way late. I'm not sure what to think about this. However, I feel it really important to just tell someone that you don't want to meet up with them. This may not be the case here and coincidence might be theme of this current acquaintance, but i'm starting to think that he might not want to meet up.

But in the end, I like him and with that he got a 2nd chance. Until I get the rejection I'm looking for, I'm staying hopeful. Even if we end up friends, I'm good to go.... unless i get stood up again. =P